


You're Gonna Miss It All

by 40ozonrepeat



Category: South Park
Genre: He has a child, M/M, PTSD, Teacher AU, also Stan is a father, also this fic is going to get really really sad, also this takes place not in colorado but on the east coast specifically philadelphia, and ill put warnings before every chapter, and kenny and kyle are teachers together, but basically kyle has bad, but we will get to that later, i promise i'll actually finish this one instead of just deleting it i have the plan and everything, ill update tags as i write it, its all explained lol, single father stan marsh, slow burn as fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:36:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/40ozonrepeat/pseuds/40ozonrepeat
Summary: Kyle Broflovski is an elementary school teacher with his current boyfriend Kenny McCormick. They both fled home the day after their high school graduation, never looking back and only finding solace in each other. On the first day of school Kyle runs into someone very unexpected, sending him right back to when he was 18 years old and barely hanging on to life. Now a father, Stan Marsh is ecstatic to see his childhood best friend and to spill everything about the last 10 years of his life to someone who he still loves dearly. His intentions may be genuine but he has yet to know that he will pry out years and years of buried heartache and pain and find out the truth of what happened at their graduation.





	You're Gonna Miss It All

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is pretty self explanatory. kyle has a nightmare and then goes to work. also kyle is kind of whiny but hes completely valid. thanks. (update: just realized i posted the version i didnt proofread and wrote while tipsy so i just changed it.. a week too late but w/e. thanks. )

“C’mon, baby, we’re late.”  
The familiar voice sounded a million miles away and yet he could still feel their hot breath stick to the back of his neck with every word spoken.  
“Kyle. Dude. You’re up.”  
He was blinded by a bright light and deafened by his own blood rushing in his ears; still paralyzed by the haunting voice. His eyes adjusted to the spotlight, and his gaze fell onto the audience; Rows and rows of glaring eyes stared back at him, freezing him into place. He glanced around helplessly; he wordlessly begged everyone and anyone to help him. The stage was empty besides a cap and gown that laid at his feet, a sudden explosion of his classmate’s laughter pulled his gaze from the floor to the audience. His entire graduating class stood there, laughing hysterically, Wendy, Tweek, Kenny, Jimmy, all of them, all the people who he trusted. Their families remained stoic in their anger except for Ike who was sobbing hysterically onto Sharon’s shoulder, still refusing to look at him. He tried to talk but nothing came out, he tried to scream but came to the same result. As if on cue a hand rested on the nape of his back, sending him into a fit of nausea.  
“Time’s up.”  
Kyle lurched out of bed, a yelp being ripped from his throat.  
“DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK?”  
Kenny jumped back from the door as Kyle sprinted into the bathroom. He followed, rubbing Kyle’s back as he vomited into the sink.  
“What happened? I heard you yelling and I came to wake you up and-” his panicked words fell short as Kyle retched again, his whole body spasming forward.  
“I-I don’t know what happened. I haven’t had a nightmare that bad in years. I don’t... I can’t even explain what-it wasn’t even-”  
Kenny shushed him, and pressed a cold cloth to his forehead instead of pushing for more details.  
“Do you want me to call the school later and tell ‘em that we’re sick?”  
“That we’re sick?”  
“Someone has to take care of you, dude.”  
“N-no, it’s fine, what kind of teacher misses the first day of the year, anyway?”  
Kenny shrugged, pondering the thought.  
“Do you wanna sleep in my bed?”  
“What time is it?”  
“3:18.”  
“Please.”  
“Okay, let me take care of this. You can just go in there.”  
“Are you s-”  
The look he gave in return was enough to get him out of the bathroom. He grabbed a bucket and some cleaning supplies from under the sink, and began scrubbing the counter from top to bottom. He let his mind wander to what could have possibly had Kyle that afraid; Even in their childhood Kyle was one of the most fearless kids in South Park, he was always so vocal about how he felt and always attempted to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves, for years he was the only kid who had the gull to stand up to Cartman and that was a feat in and of itself. The thought of Eric quickly pulled Kenny out of his short lived reverie, he tossed the cleaning supplies into their designated areas, grabbed the bucket and headed off to bed with Kyle, hoping he could somehow calm his nerves before work in the morning. 

\-- 

“Good Morning, kids! I am Mr. Broflovski but you can call me Mr. Kyle.”  
The classroom full of children remained silent, some of them beaming at him and some of them looking as if they were seconds away from crying.  
“I said ‘Good Morning, kids!’”  
A chorus of “Good Morning, Mr. Kyle”s rang delightfully throughout the room, making the ginger’s stomach settle even if just a bit.  
“Before we do any learning can I have some helpers who can assist me in handing out all the books we need?”  
Hands shot into the air like lightning, some kids were halfway out of their seats practically leaping while most of the other children were respectfully sat. He chose 5 of the latter and lined them up in the back of the room.  
“Can you five please introduce yourselves? How about you start,” He gestured toward an obviously nervous girl, giving her the most reassuring look he could. “Can you give us all your name, your favorite animal and your least favorite color.”  
“I’m Charley Stratton and my favorite animal is dinosaurs and I don’t like blue.” she swayed a little while she spoke, her eyes never quite leaving the tile floor.  
“Nice to meet you, Charley. I don’t care for blue much either. And how about you?” he gave the same reassuring smile to the next boy.  
“I’m Ollie Burke, I like dinosaurs too and I don’t like orange.”  
“Ollie, maybe since you and Charley both like dinosaurs you can talk about it together at snack time! It’s nice to make a friend on the first day.”  
The two kids smiled up at Kyle shyly, making him feel just a little guilty for suggesting it. He pointed to the next girl in line to divert the classes attention, she stood proudly and had a confidence about her that was rare at this age. It made even Kyle feel a little intimidated.  
“I’m McKenna Marsh-” the rest of what the little girl had said faded out as the same ice cold feeling he felt this morning crept right back into his chest.  
“Uh. I’m sorry, McKenna, can you repeat what you said? I’m very sorry, I just got a little dizzy.”  
“I’m McKenna Marsh. I like dolphins and I don’t like the color pink.” the girl said a little too loudly, obviously taken aback by Kyle’s response.  
The last two children went without much interest, he felt bad for only half paying attention to them but his mind had already wandered to Stanley Marsh. He hadn’t seen Stan since they were teenagers, he hadn’t even spoken to him since then either. Of course Marsh was a very common last name and this little girl had auburn hair and green eyes, she looked nothing like Stan. He made a mental note to talk about it with Kenny on their lunch break, hoping that he would want to check the girl’s file too, just to make sure.  
After the textbooks were handed out he decided it would be best if the first subject that they did was science. A little boy in the front row asked if the class could learn about outer space today and, of course, how could he not oblige to that.  
He handed out a blank sheet of paper after the lesson and told the kids to draw what they think outer space looks like. He sat atop his desk and let his mind wander once again to the dream that woke him this morning and had been constantly begging for his attention all day. He didn’t even know how to comprehend it, let alone explain it to Kenny. He hadn’t thought about his high school class in a while, he had honestly forgotten that people like Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak existed; He had never really taken a part in social media for the exact reason of not wanting to talk to the people who he had graduated with. He wanted to get as far away from that place as he possibly could both physically and mentally. South Park had ripped him to pieces.  
“Hey. Hey, Mr. Kyle! Mr, Kyle!!! Someone’s knocking.”  
Kyle sprung off the desk, seeing Kenny’s smiling face before he even opened the door brought him some sense of relief.  
“Everyone can we please say hello to Mr. McCormick?”  
Kenny beamed and waved at the children as they greeted him.  
“What are you guys learning about today?”  
Charley was the first to answer,  
“Did you know that the moon is a big rock and it’s the Earth’s rock and all the stars at night are all gone and we only see their light because it’s like a big flashlight that’s shining for a bajillion miles?”  
“Amazing job, Charley! Just for that I’ll let you pick a prize out of the treasure box before lunch, okay?”  
Kyle was glad to see that she was already coming out of her shell and that she had even been sharing crayons with Ollie. He was glad he pushed them together.  
“You’re already giving these kids academic lessons of that.. caliber? It’s the first day of school, dude. We should go play a game outside or something. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”  
“Yeah, sure, what are you thinking?”  
“Scavenger hunt instead of having a final lesson of the day? We can set it up while the kids are at lunch.”  
“Sure.”  
Kenny’s smile wavered the slightest,  
“Are you feeling any better? Do you still feel sick?”  
“I’m telling you, I feel fine, Ken. It was a total fluke.”  
“Okay, whatever you say. See you at lunch”  
He ruffled Kyles curls, eliciting the booming laughter he aimed for from the class.  
He directed his attention back to his students, trying to ignore the flush of embarrassment that was creeping down his chest.  
“How about we have snack time now? Let’s put the crayons back in an orderly fashion and then I’ll call up tables to grab their lunchboxes.” 

\--  
“I’m still not used to this East Coast weather. Sometimes I really do miss how it used to be in Colorado. It feels like summer never ends here.”  
Kenny’s face was a little pink from the heat, it brought out the freckles on his nose and made his eyes shine as if they were made of gold.  
“Home keeps coming up today.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Kyle wasn’t sure if he was ready for this conversation; he knew Kenny would be worried no matter what answer he gave now. He was the only person who really knew what Kyle endured when they were back in South Park,  
“Well, that dream I had was about our-”  
“You dreamt about home?! Dude, you should’ve told me.”  
“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?” He knew Kenny looked wounded without even having to look up from his list.  
“What was it about? Was it about-”  
“There’s also a girl in my class with the last name “Marsh””  
“There’s no way-”  
“Don’t you think I know that!” he knew he was digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole as the conversation went on.  
“Dude, please stop cutting me off I’m just trying to talk to you. We’ve been out here for 3 minutes and you’re already arguing with me. What the fuck? Are you sure that you don’t want to go home?”  
“No.”  
“Fine.”  
Kenny got the idea and moved to the other side of the playground to hide the toys and supplies for their classes’ scavenger hunt. He finished his list as quickly as he could and rushed back inside, leaving Kyle alone in the blistering Philly sun.  
He pulled his phone from his pocket, sent Ike an “I miss you, bro” text and clicked on Kenny’s contact. He knew he needed to apologize but then again Kenny knows how he gets sometimes and was well aware that South Park was a pretty sensitive topic for Kyle to say the least. He locked his phone and put it back into his pocket, ignoring the ache that had settled in his ribs. 

\--

“How was lunch, everyone? Can i have a show of hands for who made a friend during lunch?”  
To his surprise almost every kid in the class raised their hand, goofy grins on most of their faces.  
“Great! So I have an exciting announcement. Today instead of starting the first chapter in our spelling books, we’re going to go outside with Mr. McCormick’s class and we’re going to do a scavenger hunt and the team that finishes first gets cookies at their next snack time!”  
The kids broke out into excited yelling and chanting, some even clapping their hands in excitement.  
“But-”  
He waited until they settled back into their seats and focused on him once again,  
“First we need to get out math work out of the way, okay, everyone? I promise I’ll make it fun.”  
He always knew how to get every kid engaged in the lesson, using them as examples, making them get in front of the room and make up their own word problems, even letting kids teach the lesson themselves if some of their classmates were still behind. Every single year he made it a personal goal of his to have his students feel some sense of unity; he will never forget how divided his class felt no matter if it was elementary school or if it was high school, and he would never want that same feeling for the students that he has himself. 

\--

“On your marks. Get set. GO!”  
Dozens of tiny children made a mad dash for the playground, yelling at the top of their lungs in excitement. Kenny and Kyle followed behind them, walking slowly but not saying a word to one another. Kyle wanted to apologize so badly but no matter how he phrased it in his head it didn’t sound how he wanted it too. He knew their fight wasn’t that big of a deal for most, it barely even qualified as a fight but they rarely argued so it felt momentous. He could practically feel how tense Kenny was, his shoulders were held much too straight and he wasn’t looking anywhere but ahead.  
“Kenny.”  
“What?” his voice was tense and hurt all at once and it made Kyle’s heart ache.  
“I want to tell you about the dream, if you would like me too. It just doesn’t make all that much sense and I don’t really know what to make of it.”  
Kenny never took his eyes off the kids, making Kyle feel so much worse that he already did.  
“So I heard this voice and I can’t really place it and it said “c’mon, baby, we’re late.” and then I was blinded by a spotlight on a stage and the same voice told me that I was “up next” or something and the audience was filled with our graduating class and all of our parents and you all looked angry and I looked down and there was a cap and gown on the floor. You all started laughing at me, you, Wendy, Jimmy, everyone. And then from behind me someone put their hand on my back and.. And that's when I woke up and got sick. I don’t understand what it means and it doesn’t sound that scary but it felt so r-”  
Kenny pulled Kyle into a bone crushing hug, laying his head on his shoulder.  
“It’s okay, I know about your stage fright and everything and seeing everyone, even if just in a dream, must’ve thrown you for a loop. And I know that our graduation- It sounds terrifying, Kyle, it really does.”  
“It’s okay, I feel fine now, obviously, I just have a feeling that something is about to happen, you know? I don’t know if it’s going to be good or bad but I just know something is going to happen.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I just can’t help but feel like South Park is going to make national news or something, or maybe someone is going to call me and tell me that.. I don’t know… that Mr. Garrison died. I just have this feeling in my chest that I just can’t shake. I know it sounds stupid but I haven’t thought about that place in months. We haven’t even really spoken about Colorado since Christmas and now its come up 3 separate times today. I just-”  
Kenny nodded blankly and it made Kyle feel even dumber. He couldn’t explain it and he couldn’t even begin to comprehend why it had him so on edge.  
“Your brain picks up on patterns even when they’re not there. It could just be that.”  
“Maybe.” It made everything feel worse knowing that Kenny didn’t feel the same way he did.  
“We should go-” He waved in the general direction of the children who had already paired off and went on their own ways.  
“Yeah,” he replied quietly, “We should.”  
\-- 

“Ryan, your ride is here!”  
The small brunette ran up and hugged Kyle,  
“I can’t believe Mr. McCormick’s class won. I really wanted cookies.”  
“I know but there always is a next time. Have a good rest of your day and don’t forget to bring a smock for tomorrow’s art class”  
She seemed satisfied with the answer, hugged Kyle again and ran to her mother in the parking lot. Kyle turned back to see only one of his students was left.  
“Hi, McKenna, do you want to color with me while we wait for your ride?”  
She nodded excitedly and pulled her art box from her bag as Kyle grabbed some paper from the nearby secretary’s office.  
“What are you going to draw, Mr. Kyle?”  
“Probably just a beach or mountains or something like that. How about you?”  
“The moon! Like how we learned today!”  
“That's a great idea. I’m glad you liked it! Tomorrow we're going to learn about the planets and the Milky Way galaxy.”  
A silence fell upon them as they both drew, Kyle glancing out the window every few minutes to see if anyone had shown up for his student yet. 10 minutes turned into 20 minutes and 20 minutes turned into 45 minutes and there was still no sign of McKenna’s parent.  
“McKenna, do you know who’s supposed to pick you up today?”  
“My mommy, I think, I’m sorry that she’s not here yet.”  
Kyle’s heart shattered at the look she gave him, remorseful and sad, it was a look he had seen a thousand times in his life. Before he could respond the secretary knocked on the doorframe, diverting his gaze from McKenna to her father.  
“McKenna Marsh, your ride is here, sweetie.”  
Now he remembers where he’s seen it.  
“Kyle? Kyle Broflovski?”  
“I-I’ll see you tomorrow, McKenna, d-don’t forget to bring a smock, okay?”  
Kyle refused to look up as he cleaned the table of their art supplies.  
“C’mon, baby, we’re late.”  
Oh.


End file.
